Safe by leaving
by ShiningTear
Summary: Sometimes the only way to protect something is to leave.Royai in later chaps.
1. Goodbye, Lieutenant

Disclaimer: I do not and will probably never own FMA.

A/N: So, I am having a major writers block with my other story right now and I did this to make it disappear…don't worry, I am still continuing my other fictions. I know I shouldn't start new ones now…oh well. At least I don't plan this fic to be long. Enjoy.

**Safe by leaving**

**Chapter one: Goodbye, Lieutenant**

"It was...pleasurable working with you."

His voice is quiet and those dark onyx eyes of his hold a silent plea in them. His face is smooth, the color is same ivory as usually, but those eyes…in their depths she can read millions of questions. She can see hint of guilt, fear and even…no, she doesn't want to see it. She looks away and nods.

"Thank you, Sir."

As she speaks her voice is emotionless, almost cold. Her face is a mask; nothing can be read from it. Her big eyes are cold too, only thing warm in them is their extraordinary color, the dark amber. Their look is as sharp as her namesakes. She glances the files on his desk.

"Don't forget to sign those papers before tomorrow; they have been on your desk for a week now, Sir."

For a moment there is a smallest of smiles on his face as he nods, but then he is looking serious again.

"Lieutenant, how can I survive without you babysitting me?"

There is this something in his voice, his words almost sound like confess 'I can't survive without you', they make her shiver.

"Maybe you just have to grow up, Colonel."

He makes a face, but his eyes stay thoughtful.

"Keep the command on in the office, Sir."

"I will."

His lips try to curve up, but never get there.

"Lieutenant, you must know that…"

"I must leave now, Colonel. The train will leave in twenty minutes."

She stops him, there is no use to say anything; there is nothing she wants to hear from him anymore. She sees how he bites his lip before answering.

"Of course, Lieutenant. Take care. I wish you good luck with your new job."

His words don't come out very smoothly, but he manages to keep his posture straight and his tone somewhat neutral. Of course she can see right through him, she has been practicing reading him for years. Yes, she has been companying him for over half of her life. She can't deny the strange feeling that comes from leaving. But she knows it's all for the better. She raises her hand to salute him, her black boots clicking against each other. His eyes are screaming different feelings towards her right now; she can see that he doesn't understand.

"Goodbye, Colonel."

"Bye, Lieutenant."

He salutes her back, keeping his eyes on hers, their look piercing right through her, deep into her soul. She turns around and starts to walk to the door. Her steps are the only sound in the room, until right when her hand touches the door he speaks.

"Could you call me when you're there?"

His voice is soft, but see can hear it has a desperate tone. It makes her want to stay. Instead she turns her head and catches his eyes, taking in the last look, locking it into her memories. She offers a small smile, but doesn't answer. Then she walks out and puts the door quietly closed.

Her face stays calm; she walks through the headquarters, memorizing the halls. She walks to the outside and meets Fuery.

"Hello, Sergeant. Thank you from waiting with him."

She smiles as Fuery gives her Hayate's leash. The young man has a teary look in his eyes as he salutes.

"Are you really leaving us, Ma'am?"

"Yes."

Her smile fades and she answers his salute.

"Goodbye, Sergeant."

"Goodbye, Lieutenant, I hope we'll see you soon again."

"…it was nice working with you, Sergeant. Keep on the good work. Watch the Colonel for me, will you?"¨

Fuery nods and bites his lip. Then she starts walking away, towards the station. Hayate walks beside her, close her legs. They get to the train and as she sits down to her place, she can feel her mask betraying her. Her eyes are filled with sadness and as she closes them, a tiny tear rolls to her face. She doesn't bother wiping it off. Oh how she wishes that the train would leave already (and in the same time, she wishes it would never move.).

A/N: Did you like it? Do you want to know why she was leaving? Leave a review and I'll write another chapter.


	2. Hello, little bird

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.

A/N: So, thanks to your support, I wrote another chapter. I must warn you now, I love using flashbacks…and I have no idea where this fic is going…heh…enjoy.

**Chapter two: Hello, little bird**

She can feel her dog resting his head on her shoes, trying to comfort his mistress. It doesn't do much though; her feelings are too mixed up now. Her thoughts linger around dark eyes and white gloves. How she will miss them…she then remembers why she is leaving and closes her eyes to make his face disappear, even when she knows it won't help.

_It was an ordinary morning in Central headquarters, it was seven o'clock and she was the first one to be at the office as usually. She first went to put the coffee-pan on and then she decided to get the mail from the mailbox. She walked to the mailbox that was on the wall opposite their office. She grabbed the letters that were stuffed to there, as well as Central News. The Colonel Mustang has personally made sure that the paper is delivered to their office every morning, even when he could just buy it or order it to his home. After getting the mail Hawkeye walked back to the office and sat behind her desk. _

_She started sorting out the mail, like she did every morning. There were two pink envelopes that she immediately knew were for the Colonel. She sighed. She knew from the experience that the girls who had sent those letters would probably never get answered. It wasn't like _she_ minded _that_, but she didn't like to have to hear what those letters had inside. Havoc instead was usually very interested, especially if the envelopes contained a picture. _

_There were few envelopes that contained information and reports of Scar and then there was also an announcement of an upcoming military ball. The guys in the office would probably be happy about that. She kept on going through the mail until she found a small white envelope without anything else than her name on it. She lifted her eyebrow. Why would someone send her a letter to the office?_

_She carefully opened the envelope and found a paper with curvy handwriting._

"_Hello, little bird. Do you remember what you have done?"_

_She stared at the words. What was this about? She heard the door opening and quickly put the letter away. She saw Fuery come in and salute her._

"_Good morning Sergeant."_

"_Good morning Lieutenant Hawkeye. Has anyone else arrived yet?"_

"_No, you are the first one."_

_She answered absentmindedly. The letter or more like a note kept bugging her mind. She walked to the room beside their office and got coffee mug and huge pile of papers. Then she went back to the office and saw the rest of the Mustang group had arrived. Even the Colonel himself was there. The men jumped up to salute her and she made her way to the Colonel's desk. _

"_Good morning men."_

"_Morning, Ma'am!"_

_She put over half of the papers on his desk, as well as the coffee mug and saluted her superior, who waved it off lazily giving her his signature smirk. _

"_Morning, Hawkeye."_

"_Good morning, Colonel, Sir." _

_The day went on normally and she forgot the note as she had enough to think with babysitting the group and doing her paperwork. When it was ten pm she was alone in the office with colonel as the rest of the team had already went home few hours ago. _

"_Lieutenant, I think it's time to head home, it's getting late."_

_His onyx eyes had a puppy look in them and she nodded._

"_Fine, but only, if you sign those papers first thing in the morning."_

"_I will! Don't worry about it."_

_Roy gave her a charming smile and helped her to get her jacket on. She breathed in his scent, he smelled like smoke and some sort of spicy cologne. She loved his scent, though she would never admit it. Just like she would never admit how she enjoyed that smile, the little lighthearted conversations he often started in the late evenings…no she would ever admit it. 'Cause that would ruin everything they had and wished to gain. And she would never let anything get before his goal, not even, no, not _especially _herself. _

_So she refused as he asked if she needed some company to her walk and saluted him with a small smile. He flashed her grin and they started walking different ways. She felt a little shiver, like always when they separated. Maybe it was a memory of him walking away from her all those years ago, when he left her alone with her father to join military. The memory how it had ached her heart to watch him leave, thinking he would never come back. It made her nervous. She shook her head. It didn't matter. _

_She walked through the empty streets and finally came to her own doorstep. She put Hayate's leash on and they did a quick walk and she got her mail. They went inside and she changed her clothes, putting her pajamas on. Then she looked at her mail. There was a bill, an advert of circus that was coming to the town and lastly…a plain white envelope with her name on it._

A/N: So…I hope you liked it, though I know it was short. I try to make the next chapter more interesting, oh and I promise, this will not be only focused around letters…Reviews are loved, but let's save flames for the Colonel, please.


	3. Nice to meet you, sweetie

Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own FMA.

A/N: So, here comes chapter 3. I know it took me an eternity to write it, but forgive me and enjoy.

**Chapter Three: Nice to meet you, sweetie**

The train slowly started to move, leaving to its destination in East. Riza Hawkeye watches the scenery through the window, her eyes little red from the tears she couldn't keep away. She focuses on breathing, the small dog on her legs whining quietly from worry. She puts her hand into her pocket and her delicate fingers take a small note from it. The paper is wrinkled and little hard to read, but the words that are written with red ink are still there, confirming her that she made the right choice.

"_Little bird, fly away and then he may stay. Meet me at the midnight, leave in the daylight..."_

She runs her fingers on the words and nods, finally wiping away even the tiniest traces of tears from her eyes. She has no reason to cry, she keeps on saying inside her head. No reason at all, because _he_ is safe now. It is…was her job to keep him safe. And even if it isn't that anymore, she hopes nothing less to him than absolute happiness. And, she thinks, _dead_ can't have that happiness. So if the only thing to do to give him what she wants to give, to help him stay alive to make his dream come true, is to leave then she does it.

She pets Hayate's head and tries to keep herself calm. She still can't shake away the image of his onyx eyes that look at her with absolute shock, fear, hate… because he thinks that _she_ betrayed _him_. That she didn't care about her promise to him anymore. Yes, she did leave and no, she doesn't plan to come back. But that didn't mean she betrayed him, right? Not if she did it for him. Too bad he didn't know it.

She lifts Hayate on her lap, presses her face in his soft fur, imagining that the black softness she is leaning against is _his_ black locks…

_Riza squeezed her hand around her gun, taking courage from the cool metal against her fingers. She couldn't believe she was actually there, walking in the middle of night in towards the Central Headquarters. And all because of one letter… _

"…_Meet me at the midnight, leave in the daylight. If you cherish the_ dog_, be in HQ twelve o'clock. Come all alone, or someone might not get to his home." _

_She had to admit that the words had caught her interest. She was at the same time both curious and careful. The letter seemed like a threat, but it could have been just the boys from office making fun of her. Whichever it was, after all the years working under Mustang's command she had gotten more eager to solve all the mysteries around her. She had learned that anything, no matter how small could be useful or dangerous to her and more importantly to Mustang. So that was why she had grabbed her coat and kissed Hayate's head before leaving her home to find out the secret behind the letters she had got._

_She walked to the front doors of the headquarters and fished a key from her pocket. She opened the door silently and then headed to their office. After getting to the office she nearly jumped out off her skin as she heard a 'click' and the lights were turned on by someone behind her._

_Hawkeye turned around and pointed her gun towards a woman with long, shiny black hair and rather revealing white dress that hugged her curves. The woman smiled charmingly and her dark eyes that were framed with long eyelashes flashed from delight. _

"_Nice to meet you, sweetie."_

_Her voice was soft and saccharine sweet as she spoke. She didn't seem to mind the gun pointed at her head._

"_Who are you? Did you send those letters? What do you want?"_

"_Oh dear…"_

_The woman chuckled._

"_You're curious, aren't you? But where are your manners? You should greet me first, before asking all those questions, don't you think?"_

A/N: Oh, isn't it interesting? I am finally starting to know what to do with this story, so I'm happy…I hope you liked it, please leave a review if you have time. No flames, please.


	4. Thank you, Sir

Disclaimer: No, I don't own FMA. I only own my plot and OCs.

A/N: Hello again, here comes the chapter 4. Let's start from where we were left, shall we?

**Chapter four: Thank you, Sir**

"_You're curious, aren't you? But where are your manners? You should greet me first, before asking all those questions, don't you think?"_

_Hawkeye narrows her eyes before answering._

"Hi_, please tell me your name and intentions."_

_Her voice is cold and her gun stays pointed on the black-haired woman's head._

"_That's better darling, but would you mind putting your gun down?"_

_Woman's smile is innocent, making her heart shaped face glow, put her big dark eyes are sparkling mischievously. Hawkeye gives a false smile to her and lowers her gun- so that it points to the woman's heart._

"_Answer me."_

"_Oh, fine…you wanted to know if I sent you those letters, huh?"_

"_Yes."_

"_I did, actually."_

_She let out a girlish giggle, looking pleased with herself. Hawkeye was starting to feel irritated. _

"_Well, tell me then, what do you want? And who are you?"_

"_Hmm…should I tell you…I guess I should…?"_

"_Speak."_

_Hawkeye pressed the safety off._

"_Very well then. I am Destiny. And…I asked you to come here, so I could warn you, little bird."_

"_Warn me?"_

"_Yes."_

_Suddenly the woman's beautiful, pale face turned serious, her eyes shining dangerously._

"_You must leave."_

"_Excuse me?"_

"_If you want to keep your beloved Colonel safe here, _you_ will leave Central. And you will do it as soon as possible."_

"_What are you planning? I'm not going to leave anywhere!"_

"_Oh, I think otherwise darling."_

()()() ()()() ()()()

"_Sir, these papers need to be ready as soon as possible."_

"_Hmm? Sure, just put them there, I'll sign them soon enough."_

_The dark-haired colonel muttered and pointed a small empty spot on his table while focusing on his newspaper. Hawkeye made a quick salute after leaving the neat pile of papers on his desk. She walked to her own workplace and forced herself to focus on paperwork. While that hadn't normally ever been hard for her, now she felt her eyes catching glances of her superior, wondering when Mustang would take that one specific paper, read it and then…_

_The minutes passed by, turning to long hours and it seemed that no matter how quick he worked, the papers didn't change fast enough. Hawkeye's patience was getting short, but like the model officer she was, she continued to work with her own files. When the clock came to be eight everyone except the Colonel and his loyal lieutenant left the office. It was good, she guessed. She didn't need audience to what was going to happen. _

_She had already finished her job when it was nine, but the colonel still had few piles of work to do. Hawkeye took out the latest book she was reading and soon got lost in the novel's depths. That is why when after few moments the amazed voice of her superior almost made her jump from her chair._

"_What is this?"_

"_What do you mean, Sir?"_

_Mustang glared at her, onyx eyes even blacker than normal in the dim room._

"_You know what I mean, Lieutenant."_

"…"

"…_You are quitting the military?"_

"_Yes, Sir."_

"_What, may I ask, is going inside your head, Lieutenant? You can't just quit!"_

_His voice was raising its level all the time, making her want to disappear. Since she couldn't do that, she just replied monotonously, not looking into his eyes._

"_Well, actually I can. When a soldier wants to leave, I do believe her superior can't order her to stay.__** Sir**__."_

"_But Hawkeye! Why would you do that?"_

_His gaze was now looking scared, his voice little higher than normal._

"_Is it something I did? I…it was, right? I'm sorry, whatever it was, I swear I won't do it again, I…"_

"_**No."**_

"_Eh?"_

"_You didn't do anything."_

_She replied._

"_But in that case, why would you even consider…I won't sign this paper. I won't do it. This is my final decision, if you don't have a really good reason to why you would leave me."_

_But yes, I do…she said inside her head. _

"_Don't you intend to keep our promise?"_

_Now his voice was clearly hurt, angry. She swallowed._

"Will you follow me?"

"Even to hell, if that's what you desire."

_She closed her eyes, biting her lip. How she had wished he wouldn't take it this far. How she had wished she wouldn't have to hurt him…_

"_I can still shoot you, even after leaving, if that's what you're worried about."_

_His handsome face froze._

"_No."_

_Mustang's voice was now only a whisper._

"_**Riza**__, no."_

"_If you're not signing the paper, then I'll take it to the Fuehrer." _

_Hawkeye walked to his desk, trying to take the paper away from her confused superior. Then suddenly his eyes glared at her, there was a 'snap' and the paper was only ash in her hands. She felt her amber eyes grow big. Mustang caught her wrist and stood up. He pulled her closer, so close that she could smell his scent, a mixture of smoke and something spicy and intoxicating. Hawkeye could feel his chest moving as he breathed in her own scent. Her heart was beating fast, reacting to the touch she had missed for so long._

_His grip was like iron and she couldn't move when he leaned to whisper in her ear._

"_I won't let you go before you tell me __**why**__."_

_His voice was soft and silky, somehow making him seem more dangerous than when he was close to yelling._

"_Sir…"_

"_I __**order**__ you to tell me, Lieutenant."_

_Riza took in one more deep breath before doing the thing she knew she would regret more than anything._

"…_do you remember what you once said to me Colonel?"_

"_About what?"_

"_You once said it was your fault. That it was your fault that I never got to live "normal" life."_

_She could feel him freezing behind her. She made her voice cold, wanting to stop the burning inside her heart._

"…_That is true. It is your fault. I don't have own house and garden because of you. I am not married because of you."_

_Mustang let go of her hands like she was burning him. She saw his onyx eyes had a look of fear in them, a look of despair, guilt. It made her want to close him in her arms, like a lost little boy. But she knew what she had to do, knew that he had to let her go. So she continued._

"_I went to Ishval because of you. I continued in military after that bloodshed because of you."_

_Her every cell screamed against it. She could feel how her words slowly sank into his mind, painting his heart with the black betrayal that made his body start to tremble._

"_And after everything you did, __**Roy**__, after everything I sacrificed for you, you still won't let me go? What a pitiful thing to do."_

_The final touch, the checkmate. His name. Something went off in his dark eyes and he nodded._

"_Yes…I'm sorry."_

_His voice was shaky, full of deep emotions._

"_That's not going to make it all disappear."_

"…_I know…I…"_

_Roy went back to his chair, closing his eyes._

"_The papers will be ready tomorrow. You just need to come and get them. You may go now, Lieutenant."_

_He spoke with quiet, defeated tone and turned his chair away from her._

"_Thank you, Sir."_

_She left feeling a tear running down her cheek. As she closed the door she heard a familiar snap and from under the door there could be seen a flash of light._

A/N: Wow, there was a lot of drama! Poor Roy…I wasn't quite sure about this chapter, but I am still quite happy with it, 'cause this is the longest chapter of this story, I guess…I hope you liked it, please review.


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